Black is the absence of light. White is light. So what is yellow? Yellow is that stuff that you pee into the toilet. This is how I feel right now, like piss that is constantly being streamed into a toilet bowel without end. There are fine lines in politics, lines that should never be crossed, but I’m the type of person that exceeds expectations in almost everything I do. I’m the type of person that gains satisfaction from breaking world records, eventhough I am never credited properly, unless I decide to travel through time through the wonderful gift of music. I see myself as a walking dead man that investigates the truth in everything, but is too limited to express it fully without risking my own life and the lives of those I love. So I remain silent, dubbed as a silent assasin by a fellow ninja warrior. My mind is too complex and intricate to be explained in words, so I’ll keep this very short.
“Do you, and I’ll do me.”
These past few years, I’ve been scrutinized about my decisions in life. Particularly my decision to remain celibate I choose to do this, not because I solely want to. But instead, because I’m so drastically inflicted with a disease called chronic pelvic pain syndrome, that it has contaminated all aspects of my life. It has damaged me physically by an affliction of a stinging, piercing pain throughout the day all day everyday. Mentally, it has damaged me with a term called “catastrophic thinking”, which basically means that I think of the most absurd, dark, evil absurd outlandish things possible. Now, I’ve been getting alot of criticism from the gay community. I have nothing against gays, if youre gay that’s fine. Just that I’m not gay. If you’re lesbian, that’s really cool. Bi-sexuals are fine too. Same goes for transgender, even if that does freak me out a bit. As far as the reason behind people thinking I am gay, is solely because of this disease. I truely feel like I “was” possessed by something evil for me to have thought up some of the dark, homosexual, murderous thoughts I’ve been thinking of. Another important issue to tackle down is gun control. After the shootings in Aurora, Colorado…there is nothing I can do about such a tragic situation but offer prayers of support and words of encouragement to the families of the victims. What more can I do? But do what I’ve always done..to positively inspire myself and reciprocally inspiring others along the way unintentionally. But now I realize the power of my words and how it influences the lives of so many people. It’s incomprehensible, just please try to understand that this vessel you see before you is not the “real” me. I’ve been through more changes than an 80 year old man has gone through. My soul is literally aged at 40-something is what I sincerely believe. To the families and friends of the victims of the Dark Knight Rising premire: never forget to keep the faith and carry on as if nothing can harm you, that is the only way to overcome such devastating cisrcumstances.
With love, your friend and brother, Paul Hyunbin Kim.
Robin Hood was a man who stole from the rich and gave to the poor. A figure in history that I never really cared much for. Until I realized how difficult it is to be really poor for the past decade and plus years of my life. I had always been a thief, but I detested actually stealing from people, because it damaged my conscience so much. Instead, I would always steal from stores as a kid, and sometimes I would get caught and paid the consequences. After spending some time incarcerated back in 2009 and 2010, I realized how important following the Lord is. And one person who stuck by me along with a few close brothers is my mom. She was always famous for being so unrelentingly generous to others. I took this example and the example Jesus left behind of being completely selfless to heart. I began to give back in more ways than one, but a feeling of immense gratification overcame me as I did this. Now I was getting addicted to showering people with good deeds. This is where my character enhanced by the scripture comes into play. I had to always remember to control my hot temper and overshadowing pride by doing one thing the world seems to always forget to do: being humble. So I led a life of reclusiveness for such a long time, giving back to help others.
To whomever it may concern,
My life can be defined in one word that epitomizes it all: struggle. I was born into a family with just my mom and brother. I never laid eyes on my father that can serve my memory correctly. My family has always been super religious, that was simply my upbringing. As the tradiition of America being a Christian nation, my mom followed accordingly. From our entire family being devout Catholics. I was also raised by my aunts who would spend their time with priests, nuns and other people of the faith. I have always been gifted in language arts and history as well as science. Math has never been my strong suit such is stereotypical of all Asian students. From early on I attended Magnet and Gate schools that nurtured my ability to articulate with poise and respectability.
Regardless, I have always been that one awkward Korean kid that stood out, therefore when I hit junior high, the only people I would hang out with were people of every race and creed. I began to understand the world around me better by meeting awesome friends that I still cherish in my heart to this day. Everything has its consequences, and when I would start hanging out with people of every race,most of the “Christian” Korean kids would look down on me. Why? Maybe because they didn’t know how to outsource and be sociable as I had been. On the other hand, because of my upbringing of abusiveness, I would constantly get in scuffles everyday of my adolescence.
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